Break ups & Make Ups

Some people thought my last blog was too tame, judging by the amount of views it had compared to my others it was too tame!
This blog I hope will be back to my normal form.

Break ups are hard for everyone involved. Tough if you're the one breaking it off, tough if you're at the receiving end. Yesterday I was in the park enjoying the sun when I noticed a couple sat about 100 yards away from me. You know when you can just tell something isn't right? Well I could tell they were arguing about something. It's great wearing sunglasses as no-one can tell what you are looking at! After about 10 minutes the guy gave the girl a hug, said something to her, obviously upset, got up and walked away. He kept looking back at her and I just wanted him to run back, say he'd made a mistake, he loved her and everything would be OK. She just sat there hugging her knees (I couldn't see her face but I could tell she was crying) before getting up herself and walking in the opposite direction. I felt as if I'd seen the saddest thing in my life and believe me I've see some pretty sad things, but that isn't the worst break up I've seen or been part of.

I've been through my fair share of break-ups. As a young teenager I had a new boyfriend nearly every month. Dumping each other by MSN messenger, text or even by friend telling friend telling the actual person involved. It's harsh looking back now but that's how 11 to 14 year olds behave.
I was with a guy from the age of 14 to 15 (on and off) he lived miles away it seemed at the time but it was Hulme, I barely remember how we met now. Oh wait.....he text my number thinking I was someone else, we got chatting, met up and got together. Good basis for a story I'll just change our ages haha!
We broke up because he lived on the other side of Manchester, none of his friends liked me, I didn't like his friends and we both cheated on each other. It got pretty nasty in the end, but I recently saw a picture of him on facebook and wow am I glad I didn't stick around.
My next boyfriend I met on holiday! holiday romances very rarely work and this one certainly didn't! Anyway, I met him at the phones at this campsite we were at, I was ringing a guy I really fancied at the time to get some gossip and he was ringing his dad. we started talking (at midday) I eventually went back to my caravan at 9pm that night, we exchanged numbers and text each other as soon as we got home, he lived in Nottingham so again it was all done by phone and text. I found out after a couple of months that (apart from family) he had slept with nearly every girl in his phone book. I had met my future husband by then and was umming and ahhing over what to do, whether to get with him or stick with holiday guy. I went back to my holiday fling for another month or so but it was the worst thing to do and we eventually had a tearful phone call where we broke up. I don't remember his last name, I doubt I even knew it (days before facebook) but that relationship was in a way one of the nicest (he was a really nice bloke when he wasn't sleeping around), yet tearful romances I ever had!

It's weird isn't it that as a teenager when you break up with someone you've been with for longer than a month you think the world will end without them near you, you'll die if you don't have one text or phone call a day from them and how no-one in the world knows how you feel.
I really have no experience how people feel as they get older and break up with partners they have been with for a few years or people they date for a couple of months. My friends who have this experience say sometimes they just feel nothing, that's why they break up. Others have said they wanted commitment, the other party didn't and that's why it ended. No matter what the reason for the break-up all my friends have said they felt guilt (if they were the one ending things), pain (if they weren't) and a heap load of sadness.
No matter why you break up it is sad, you've given up a part of your life to someone and then it doesn't work out. I know when I broke up with my husband, I was incredibly sad but I knew it was the right decision for both of us. If I'd have stayed, things would only have got worse, we'd have ended up resenting each other and probably broken up later on but we might have had kids etc. I don't in any way regret the past 8 years of my life or my marriage but some things just aren't meant to be and that's what happened to me and him. Our happy endings are still out there waiting for us, we just had to go through this to realise that.

Sometimes, however, break ups don't end there. Sometimes you realise you've made the biggest mistake of your life and you want to get back with your partner. This can happen straight away or a few months down the line (normally near a special event you would have spent with them), for a minority of people (no research done, this is my own opinion) this works and is the making of their relationship, I know a few couples this has happened too they are now happily married, couple of kids etc. For the majority of people this will NEVER work. You broke up with your ex for a reason, it should stay that way and if you try and go back because you feel sorry for them, guilty, pity them or anything like that then you need to look at yourself in the mirror and shake yourself.

I really wish I'd been able to listen to the couple I mentioned earlier and find out what they broke up over, had one of them cheated? Did they fall out of love or was it just because it's the end of term coming up, exam pressure etc got to the better of them? I'll never know now but I hope they both find someone else to make them happy. You never forget a break up but it's how you deal with them that really matters.