New beginnings & being a grown up.

Let's start off with some good news!

I am doing a degree. Not just any degree, one in my favourite subject - History. Now for anyone reading this who knows me, they'll know I didn't go to uni when I was of the age due to many, many reasons. The main one being my parents decided to follow their dream, abandon their supposedly adult children and move to France. I could have had all the funding in the world to go but I still wouldn't have managed to do it. So I got a job and a flat and tried to adult. Didn't work!

Anyway recently, I decided with the immense support and understanding of my wonderful boyfriend, both families and our friends, that now was the time to do my degree. We're financially stable (sort of), we have no children (yet) and it's something I felt I missed out on as a young adult.

I signed up to OU, weirdly I'm doing the same course my mum was doing when she met my dad! I've waited over 6 months to start, getting my books, converting our box room to a study and buying far too many pens. Now my books and assignments arrived last week and I'm looking at them slightly panicking. I'm going to work my butt off for this though and I know where I want to go with it. I'm ridiculously excited to start and cannot wait to get stuck in. Wish me luck!!

Also we got a new car this month. Upgraded my little roller boot to a slightly bigger roller boot. With electric windows. And central locking. I absolutely love it and as it has 5 doors I feel like a proper grown up in it! It's the little things in life.  

There's also been a major shift at home, I've got a new mattress! Now, this isn't any ordinary mattress, some of you (especially if you live in the US) might have heard of a company called Leesa, they're a relatively new company trying to make sleep more enjoyable and comfortable.
I've recently got the mattress and it's so comfy, much comfier than some of the mattresses I tried. They are a company bringing luxury to the wider world, look them up!
It's a sleep revolution guys!

Now for something a little more serious, I saw something last night that shocked me and probably most people, especially parents. 2 little boys were trying to flee Syria with their parents and unfortunately the boat they were on capsized, 11 people washed up on the beach and these 2 poor children, just 3 & 5 years old, and their mother were just  of them. The images I've seen were horrific and yet, I couldn't stop looking. Those children should not have been on a boat, they should have been safe in their beds, but due to where they lived, this is not possible. Those children and countless other refugees (they are not migrants, they are fleeing a war torn country, not looking for a better job). Maybe this will jump start a proper debate into this 'crisis' and make refugee's lives better until they can find a place to live, be that in the UK or somewhere else in Europe.

Peace out guys! Look after one another x

Well hello there stranger

Hello my little chickadees!!

Yes, I have decided to start my blog again. I'm sure you're all ecstatic/ happy/annoyed/pissed off/wondering how you ended up here when you were looking for a food blog*

* delete as appropriate.

I read over my posts from last year and realised that 2013 was the year I gave up on a lot far too easily! This time round I'm happier, stronger, and able to take insults like water off a ducks back. I also found a draft post that I never got the chance to add so that might make an appearance.

I have also resolved not to talk about anyone without their express permission. Causes less arguments and no one gets hurt that way.

So quick catch up since June 2013. Dates galore from June to September 2014 (joke!), had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince (urgh soppy) but I'm happy. I have my own car, moved jobs, moved house a lot, met new and old friends and generally had a good time.

I hope you enjoy my blog, it will be less about my life as I've become all boring again but I'm sure I'll add snippets in every now and again just to keep you going!

Thanks for reading
Gina
x

Last Post, Apologies, Clearing my mess up.

I know, I know. You're all absolutely devastated about this but I have just read some really nasty comments about myself and it really got to me. So I just want to get a few things from those comments straight in my last blog post. Yes you have got your way and effectively run me out of town, but I and only I will decide what parts of my life are splashed over the internet, daily mail style. The comments were personal to both me and my husband so it is with that in mind and deep regret I am ending The Wisdom of Gina Blog.

Firstly and it is the only thing I actually agree with from the commenter, I know it's hard to believe, is how I treated my mate Greg. Now Greg and I haven't spoken since I did the awkwardness blog post and I can totally understand why. I love and adore Greg so much and I really miss his friendship and how we used to be. I doubt it will ever be the same because of what I wrote but I just want him to know that I am deeply, deeply sorry for how I treated him. I miss our random conversations, singing in the car and our days out. It's true that you don't know what you have until its gone and I didn't realise just how much I needed Greg in my life until he wasn't speaking to me. Sorry x

I in no way pretend I am perfect or look in the mirror and see a supermodel, and I certainly don't wish to be classed as the next 'Samantha Brick', I dislike that woman with a passion. I did this blog as a coping mechanism, nothing more nothing less. It certainly wasn't to air my 'dirty laundry' all over the place, I certainly could have done if I didn't have a husband, family and friends to think about.
I am not a home wrecker by any stretch of the imagination, I've never slept with a married man apart from my husband and that's allowed!

I apologise that my life is not stressful in a conventional way. I don't have kids, I hold down a steady job and I have a good family around me. However, having to move out of my marital home is stressful, going through a divorce is stressful. If you haven't done it don't judge me.
 
The whole comment of my life being like Hollyoaks is a joke, one of sarcasm, unfortunately some people didn't seem to realise that and took it literally. I guess they also take Hollyoaks literally and they didn't like the comparison as I don't go round wearing hot pants in winter nor do I murder people, I think that makes me a pretty good person, obviously not.

I certainly don't have a line of men out my door. One I wouldn't know what to do with them all (it would be kind of exhausting), two, I'm just not that type of girl and three, I think my housemates would have something to say about that! Yes I have man trouble, but don't most 24 year olds? Mine are just slightly different. I go out drinking occasionally. I think I've been out about 4 times since the split. Which roughly works out at once a month, so I don't think me talking about my drinking habits is anything to do with you.

Apparently I'm like a 24 hour tesco but I can't remember why really. Something really witty I'm sure. I'm not self assured, over confident or self centred, yeah I write about myself so flipping what? I heard the other day everyone likes talking about themselves and that's true! Show me someone who doesn't?!

I don't live in a bedsit, I live in a lovely 3 bedroom house share, the areas not great but who cares?! The house is not a hovel and I don't think my landlord would like that description of his house. There are spiders everywhere which I hate and have no man to come and get them (oops mentioned men again, when will I learn?)

I really should stop being sarcastic or what I perceive is me being funny, it won't get me anywhere, probably more nasty comments or 6 feet under as I am positive this person is going to come and hunt me down, they clearly know where I am as they think it's a 'hovel'.

I doubt the person who commented is very content with their life. They seem very angry about everything I do which is never good. No-one should be that angry about anything I do, it's just wasted energy really, be angry about something important. Even my mum isn't this angry at me and she's known me all my life poor woman.

Right I'm signing off as I keep going back to the subject I love the most: moi! Doing this blog has been a nice little chapter of my life. I've enjoyed writing it, and I have enjoyed hearing the nice comments people have had about it. Thank you to everyone who read it, talked about it, sent it on to their mates etc... I'll miss it! XX 

Break ups and make ups update

After posting my earlier entry I started thinking about the part social media plays in relationships and break ups. The book I'm writing is written in different social media formats and will involve how this shapes relationships therefore I needed to think about this carefully. So I've decided to do a mini blog entry on this to get my thoughts down and see what people think.

If you break up with someone and you're friends or follow then on the popular social media sites, it can be hard to move on. You feel they are everywhere posting statuses or updates that are aimed at you and it makes you feel like crap in some cases. The thing is do you get rid of them in that sense? Block them or unfriend/unfollow them and how soon after does this happen? Straight away, weeks, months, years (!) Down the line?
I can't tell you I'm afraid it depends how you feel about the whole situation. I just avoided sites for a month or two and try and skip statuses!

What about people you met through your partner? Do you delete them too? Even if you class them as a friend, surely loyalty to the original friend takes precedence? I've thought about this a lot in the past few months and I'm still no closer to an answer.

The problem is with the burst of social media, nothing is private. Everyone knows what you're doing, where you are, who you're with and what you're talking about. It's annoying but we're all guilty of it. This is why after a break up it's hard to move on as your ex could be posting things like "deliriously happy with my new fella already! Excited for what's to come!" Or they could put on "sat here listening to leona lewis on repeat #heartbreaking" both equally irritating but it's part of life!

What about if it was social media that made you break up in the first place? Jealousy about time spent on sites or who your partner is talking to are now, I assume, big factors in some cases. Do you follow the same protocol or do you block them straight away to avoid awkwardness, arguments on sites and generally being unkind to each other sat behind a computer screen? I don't have the answers I'm afraid it's down to you but I know what I would do!

Anyway this was only meant to be a mini entry and it's an essay! The part social media plays in relationships, break ups, make ups and dating is a big one but don't dismiss it as all bad! It can be very useful for checking the person you're dating isn't a complete nut job, you can avoid a weird dating scenario and save yourself! 

Break ups & Make Ups

Some people thought my last blog was too tame, judging by the amount of views it had compared to my others it was too tame!
This blog I hope will be back to my normal form.

Break ups are hard for everyone involved. Tough if you're the one breaking it off, tough if you're at the receiving end. Yesterday I was in the park enjoying the sun when I noticed a couple sat about 100 yards away from me. You know when you can just tell something isn't right? Well I could tell they were arguing about something. It's great wearing sunglasses as no-one can tell what you are looking at! After about 10 minutes the guy gave the girl a hug, said something to her, obviously upset, got up and walked away. He kept looking back at her and I just wanted him to run back, say he'd made a mistake, he loved her and everything would be OK. She just sat there hugging her knees (I couldn't see her face but I could tell she was crying) before getting up herself and walking in the opposite direction. I felt as if I'd seen the saddest thing in my life and believe me I've see some pretty sad things, but that isn't the worst break up I've seen or been part of.

I've been through my fair share of break-ups. As a young teenager I had a new boyfriend nearly every month. Dumping each other by MSN messenger, text or even by friend telling friend telling the actual person involved. It's harsh looking back now but that's how 11 to 14 year olds behave.
I was with a guy from the age of 14 to 15 (on and off) he lived miles away it seemed at the time but it was Hulme, I barely remember how we met now. Oh wait.....he text my number thinking I was someone else, we got chatting, met up and got together. Good basis for a story I'll just change our ages haha!
We broke up because he lived on the other side of Manchester, none of his friends liked me, I didn't like his friends and we both cheated on each other. It got pretty nasty in the end, but I recently saw a picture of him on facebook and wow am I glad I didn't stick around.
My next boyfriend I met on holiday! holiday romances very rarely work and this one certainly didn't! Anyway, I met him at the phones at this campsite we were at, I was ringing a guy I really fancied at the time to get some gossip and he was ringing his dad. we started talking (at midday) I eventually went back to my caravan at 9pm that night, we exchanged numbers and text each other as soon as we got home, he lived in Nottingham so again it was all done by phone and text. I found out after a couple of months that (apart from family) he had slept with nearly every girl in his phone book. I had met my future husband by then and was umming and ahhing over what to do, whether to get with him or stick with holiday guy. I went back to my holiday fling for another month or so but it was the worst thing to do and we eventually had a tearful phone call where we broke up. I don't remember his last name, I doubt I even knew it (days before facebook) but that relationship was in a way one of the nicest (he was a really nice bloke when he wasn't sleeping around), yet tearful romances I ever had!

It's weird isn't it that as a teenager when you break up with someone you've been with for longer than a month you think the world will end without them near you, you'll die if you don't have one text or phone call a day from them and how no-one in the world knows how you feel.
I really have no experience how people feel as they get older and break up with partners they have been with for a few years or people they date for a couple of months. My friends who have this experience say sometimes they just feel nothing, that's why they break up. Others have said they wanted commitment, the other party didn't and that's why it ended. No matter what the reason for the break-up all my friends have said they felt guilt (if they were the one ending things), pain (if they weren't) and a heap load of sadness.
No matter why you break up it is sad, you've given up a part of your life to someone and then it doesn't work out. I know when I broke up with my husband, I was incredibly sad but I knew it was the right decision for both of us. If I'd have stayed, things would only have got worse, we'd have ended up resenting each other and probably broken up later on but we might have had kids etc. I don't in any way regret the past 8 years of my life or my marriage but some things just aren't meant to be and that's what happened to me and him. Our happy endings are still out there waiting for us, we just had to go through this to realise that.

Sometimes, however, break ups don't end there. Sometimes you realise you've made the biggest mistake of your life and you want to get back with your partner. This can happen straight away or a few months down the line (normally near a special event you would have spent with them), for a minority of people (no research done, this is my own opinion) this works and is the making of their relationship, I know a few couples this has happened too they are now happily married, couple of kids etc. For the majority of people this will NEVER work. You broke up with your ex for a reason, it should stay that way and if you try and go back because you feel sorry for them, guilty, pity them or anything like that then you need to look at yourself in the mirror and shake yourself.

I really wish I'd been able to listen to the couple I mentioned earlier and find out what they broke up over, had one of them cheated? Did they fall out of love or was it just because it's the end of term coming up, exam pressure etc got to the better of them? I'll never know now but I hope they both find someone else to make them happy. You never forget a break up but it's how you deal with them that really matters.  

Reminiscing 'Bout The Time

Firstly I must apologise for using a Blazing Squad song lyric as my title. Believe me I know it's sad but whenever I hear the word 'Reminiscing' that song pops in my head!
For my younger readers (if I have any) Blazing Squad were a 10 boy rap 'gang' in the early 00's who supposedly had a few top ten hits like 'Crossroads' which was just about them meeting some girl at a crossroads but never going anywhere! Weird.
I also went to see them once (by accident I hasten to add) a club in Bolton used to hold an under 18's night and one night my friends and I decided to go as Busted were playing there and that was literally the highlight of our year. It turned out Blazing Squad were also there and they were pants!!

Anyway I digress. Recently I went to see my best friends in Cambridge & London (hence me writing on the train last week) and we had so much fun! It's so good to see them again as I haven't seen them in about 2 years. We always talk about the past when we get together and remember what has happened in the past that has made us nearly pee ourselves laughing.

In Year 11 (5th year for you old buggers), we went on a school trip to the Somme. Now some of you may know that I went to the Somme nearly every year with my parents. My Dad was really into WW history and my sisters and I spent many a holiday looking for soldiers graves so my Dad could research them for the Lancashire Fusiliers. At the time it was so annoying but I genuinely loved those holidays! So this trip with school was a good opportunity to go back to my childhood. It was the funniest holiday I have ever had with my friends. There was a group of about 15 (?) year 11 students and on the way down to get the Eurostar we were up at 3AM singing The Darkness' I Believe In A Thing Called Love. Bet our teachers loved us! Also my best mate Phil got his head stuck in between 2 coach seats (still the funniest moment of my life ever) and no-one helped him for about 10 minutes as we were too busy laughing and taking pictures. Then me and friend Rach pretended to be penguins for the majority of the trip and just bobbed around a lot. Don't get me wrong we did actually learn about the Somme and there were moments when we were serious but send a load of 5th years away together 3 months before they're due to leave high school and they will have fun!

The next trip  was with my best friend Ruth when we were in College and went to Disneyland Paris as mentors to the young'uns. We were adults! We were allowed to basically do what we wanted, it was amazing but we did have some very small responsibilities. At the time, I really fancied a guy from college that I barely knew and I remember we were talking about it on the way back to our hotel one night, I can't remember the conversation but I remember I had to stop a few times as I needed the loo and Ruth was making me laugh so much! That holiday was a really nice girly week away and I had so much fun with Ruth. Just remembered her Dad (who was our deputy head and came away with us) rang our room one morning, Ruth was in the bathroom and I picked up the phone. Now Ruth and I do sound very similar and this deep voice said "Hello Darling, I'll meet you in the reception with Gina in 10 minutes" I was mortified when I had to explain I wasn't his daughter!

Anyway what I'm trying to get across in this week's blog is that always make time for your friends and family and make new memories with them as well as thinking about the old ones. I promised my 2 mates I wouldn't leave it 2 years again to see them, it will probably be less than 2 months but at least I know they'll always be there for me, getting me drunk and making me walk round London for 9 hours (Phil). I'm really glad I have my old memories with them but there's always room to make more!

Falling in and out of love

There's  no stranger feeling than being in love. It can make you feel like you're floating on air (when everything is going well) or it can make you feel like absolute crap. My dad always said the man that was worth my tears wouldn't make me cry. Sorry daddy but men can't help but make us women cry. It's in their DNA or something.

My Dad was full of little words of wisdom and always knew what to say in a crisis especially if there was a bloke involved. I could ring him up and he'd just know what to say to make his little girl feel better. I'm the youngest of 4 girls and I'm still a proper daddy's girl even though he passed away 4 years ago.

Anyway I was talking about love, my father problems are another blog altogether!
Love is a many splendid thing (or so the famous song would have us believe). I fell in love at the tender age of 17, my boyfriend (as he was then) was funny, caring, handsome everything a girl could want in a man. He is older than me by about 6 years but age is a number right? He was perfect, my parents approved, my family approved (at the time) and my life was complete.

Fast forward a couple of years, I'm living in my own flat (my parents had abandoned their youngest child and her life of being a layabout student to move to France. I had to get a job!!!) I'm still with this bloke, happy and in love. We became engaged, bought a house and got married (how very grown up) by the time we got married I was 23, he was 29. Now here's where I should say that we lived happily ever after and had a bunch of children and we're going to grow old together....sorry kids sometimes life is crap and doesn't work out like you planned.

One day not too long ago I woke up with the dawning realisation I might not be in love with my husband anymore. What do you do in that situation? There is no manual for women on how to cope when you're no longer in love and your marriage falls apart 16 months after the happiest day of your life. I wish there was...I might write one. Its an impossible situation to be in, I wanted to make it work without letting him know I was having doubts about our marriage. Anyway we argued constantly for about a month, I wanted to go out on a weekend and he wanted to stay in....all day. We didn't have much money but what we did could have stretched to a day out somewhere. So we argue about everything and one day I scream at him that I don't love him (not the nicest thing I've ever done) and I want to leave. Instead of acting like the adults we are and talking, we ignored the problem and tried to get on. This lasted another month (more arguments) until eventually one day I left (I can't go into details but it involved someone else)

2 months later I'm here. In a house share at 24, going through a divorce, wondering where my life went wrong. My family and friends have been amazing. my ex has been amazing and we're trying to be friends. Don't get me wrong my life is in no way easier now I'm single but I'm happier and finally after 8 years realising who I am.

So boys and girls if you're in love I hope it lasts forever for you but don't think it's your fault if it doesn't. Life moves on, people change, grow, evolve and sometimes your partner doesn't grow with you. It sucks but it makes you stronger, believe me.